Hide the tuna flakes! Today's "Interviews With Cats" features tuxedo kitties Porkchop, Beans, and Tater Tot "TT" Pistachio. These ladies are veritable internet superstars with 284,000 Instagram followers and counting! One has presidential aspirations, one's in the closet (literally), and one needs to learn a little more English (just kidding?) If you don't know them, here's your chance!

Q: Tell us about yourself! Name, nickname, age, city, siblings, etc.

Porkchop: Hi, my name is Porkchop and I'm a nipAholic.. But you can call me, Porky, Pchizzop, Peeeeeee or Porker. I just turned five & I live with two other fur roommates and one fur-less.

Beans: (murmurs from the closet) I'm Beans and I pretend to be scared of my shadow, but really I'm just dark and mysterious. You can call me, Beanie, B, Beaner or Sweet Bottom. I'm approximately 3-6 years old. It's as much of a question as is my dark and mysterious behavior.

TT Pistachio: Il mio nome è pistacchio.. I am ummm how do you say, contento to be here in this country.

Idiotas.

Q: Is there a special story behind your name?

Porkchop: All our Roomie ever wanted in life was to name all her cats after the Wu Tang Clan, but having that many cats wasn't ideal while being single in her 30's. Plus the lady who lives upstairs would probably kick us out lol

So when she was naming me, she says she was eating Porkchops and it just kind of grew from there. My full government name is Porkchop Chuleta Pig Marie.

Beans: (Still Murmuring from the Closet) I am just Beans.. Cause Pork & Beans go hand in hand.

TT Pistachio: Il mio nome è Pistacchio, aka Tater Tot Pistachio. All the credit for my name goes to our Roomies awesome cousins, Amy, Julianne, Abby, Claire, Emma & Ben. Tater Tot, because they go great with Pork & Beans. And piSTACHio, for my glorious half mustache.

WHAT THE HELL IS A PIG MARIE?!?!?

Q: What’s your favorite treat?

Porkchop: TUNA FLAKES.. Im still looking for the lifetime supply hook up!

Beans: (Peeks head out from the closet) DID SOMEBODY SAY TREATS?! I don’t discriminate!

TT Pistachio: MI AIUTI ALL THE TREATS TOO

Bringa spuntino di tonno to MEEEEE

Q: Tell us about a time you got in trouble with your meowmy:

Porkchop: I laugh in the face of trouble.

Beans: I'm a perfect Angel.

TT Pistachio: Mi Scusi? I do not know this word, umm how do you say, Trouble?!

There's only so much trouble you can get into FROM A CLOSET...

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Porkchop: President of the United States.. because .. well.. #Duh #Porkchop2020

Beans: An interior designer, specializing in closets.

TT Pistachio: A Modello. Cause I am, how do you say, BELLISSIMO

"This lighting is fantastico"

Q: What’s your favorite toy and why?

Porkchop: I think its fair to say - from the three of us - this old decrepit mouse our roomie picked up at the Dollar Store five years ago…

Beans: I drown it from time to time and then bury it in the litter box.

TT Pistachio: It looks like a pene. I NO LIE

We also quite like this butt basket tree

Q: Do you have any special talents you’d like to share?

Porkchop: I am a living breathing talent.

Beans: (Decending back in to the closet) I can disappear

TT Pistachio: I can jump as high as a ummm how do you say a Jack coniglio

What do you mean you can still see me?!?

Q: What do you do that annoys your Roommate?

Porkchop: More like, Roomie annoys me!

Beans: That I don't come out of the closet to meet any of her friends. She doesn't understand that I need to keep up with my "dark and mysterious" rep! Gheesh.. #TeenageAngst

TT Pistachio: That I pretend to not understand English.. I mean... MI SCUSI!??