Interviews With Cats: Fonzie & Hitch, Two Tuxedo Fluffsters
"Interviews With Cats" is back and this week we're chatting with Fonzie and Hitch, two floofy tuxedo cats with lots of cat-titude! One is known as the "Don of Derp," and has a steady girlfriend, and the other is an amateur escape artist who ribbits instead of meows! Find out which is which straight ahead!
Q: Tell us about yourselves! Name, nickname, age, etc.
Fonzie: I’m 12‐years‐old, and have been known to answer to the names “Chunky Fonz,” “Burrito,” “Lunch,” and “Cheese.” I have no idea where the last three names came from, but I know the human means well...
Hitch: I’m 2! The human sometimes refers to me as “Midge,” or “Midget,” ‐‐ I’m told that’s what’s known as “irony” ‐‐ and “Froggy,” because I don’t meow. I ribbit.
Q: Is there a special story behind your names?
Fonzie: After my first visit to the vet at 3‐months‐old, I came home reeking of perfume from all of the ladies at the vet who wanted to hold me and pet me. Even from such an early age, it was clear that I had an animal magnetism that rendered all women stupefied in my presence ‐‐ much like The Fonz from “Happy Days.”
Hitch: My given name is “Hitchcock,” after the great film director (our human is a cinephile, and I was adopted a couple of days before Halloween), but I’m called “Hitch” for short. I’m told that I have a very distinct profile, and voyeuristic tendencies just like my namesake.
Q: What’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to you?
Fonzie: It was pretty exciting when the human brought Hitch home. I’m pretty much used to him now, but was completely stunned when I first met him. My signature defensive mechanism is vomiting, which I promptly did (all over the carpet) upon seeing him for the first time.
Hitch: Every time a food can is opened, or when anyone even steps foot into the kitchen, I get super excited! Is there anything more exciting than food?? If there is, I haven’t found it yet!
Q: Tell us about your best day ever:
Fonzie: That would have to be the day that I received a clean bill of health from the vet after a terrible 5‐week bout of calicivirus. Nobody was sure I would make it (even I wasn’t so sure), but I pulled through!
Hitch: The day I ran outside! It took the human 30 minutes to realize that the house was too quiet, and went to look for me. When she couldn’t find me in the house, she panicked, and looked outside. There I was, hanging out in some bushes! She chased me around for about 10 minutes before I decided I’d had enough; I sat on the porch, crying, waiting for her to let me back inside.
Q: What's your favorite treat?
Fonzie: Delicately chopped pieces of turkey and chicken. I’m not much into human food except for those two things.
Hitch: What isn’t my favorite treat?!
Fonzie: Hitch would probably eat paint chips if the human allowed him to.
Q: Tell us about a time you got in trouble with your meowmy (or cat dad):
Fonzie: I’m perfect, and never get in trouble. I am, however, extremely picky about my litter being spotless, and if it’s not up to my standards, I’ll pee right outside of the box. I’ve been told this is “bad” behavior, but I think it’s worse behavior for the human to not clean my litter box 2 seconds after I use it.
Hitch: See my “best day ever” answer. I got into a lot of trouble for that.
Q: What’s your favorite holiday and why?
Fonzie: I would have to say Thanksgiving (because turkey), but I’m also a big fan of any holiday that doesn’t require me to wear a costume ‐‐ like Labor Day.
Hitch: I would have to agree with Fonz on that one. Although, I don’t mind dressing up as long treats are involved.
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Fonzie: Considering that I’m a senior cat, I’m already living my dream of being a professional napper and cuddles.
Hitch: I’m not really sure yet. Maybe something having to with the outdoors?
Q: What's your favorite toy and why?
Fonzie: I’ve always been more of a string cat than a toy cat, but the one toy I absolutely cannot get enough of are the kickers that @life_of_ziggy’s mom makes! I will even play with those toys on my own when I think the human isn’t looking (something I’ve never done with any other toy).
Hitch: If it can be batted around, I’ll play with it!
Q: Do you have any special talents you’d like to share?
Fonzie: Amidst the unmitigated bliss of a good cuddle, I’ve been known to pet my human’s face. I’m also the undisputed “Don of Derp.”
Hitch: I will ribbit in response whenever someone engages me in conversation. My longest exchange was 20 minutes of back‐and‐forth with the human on the subject of dinner (before the conversation started to bore me, and I walked away).
Q: What do you do that annoys your parents?
Fonzie: Nothing. As I said before: I’m perfect.
Hitch: I usually get into trouble whenever I try to chase Fonz, or when I try to run outside (which is any time the front door is opened).
Q: What's your favorite color?
Fonzie: A nice, deep teal.
Hitch: Which color tastes the best?
Q: Do you have a best friend(s)? If so, who?
Fonzie: My girlfriend Wheezy and her brother George of @tinaf78 are my closest friends. Our inner circle also includes Monty and Perry of @yanksgal23 from my NYC days, and my fellow senior friend Romey of @hussycats.
Q: Do you have a favorite pastime?
Fonzie: Definitely napping and cuddling ‐‐ sometimes both at once.
Hitch: Eating! Speaking of which...what’s for lunch?
Q: Anything else you'd like to share?
Fonzie: I’d just like to take the time to thank our followers and fans for caring so much about me and Hitch. When I was practically on my deathbed, the good people of Instagram saw to it that I was able to afford the care I needed into order get better. I’m forever grateful to them for giving me more time to cuddle with my human.
Hitch: I’d like to give a shout out to my foster mother Lorrie from P.A.L.S rescue in Philadelphia! She took excellent care of me before I was adopted, and ensured that I went to the best home possible.
Image Credits: Images courtesy of Erin, parent of Fonzie & Hitch